I’ve long been a fan of Ambrose Bierce’s Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary.
Bloomberg’s John Dorfman has put together his own version: Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil’s Tongue.
Here are my favorite entries:
Accountant: A person who determines a company’s revenue and earnings figures,
and who is also paid by the company. An old joke has a CEO interviewing several
prospective accountants. He asks each one, “How much is two plus two?” The
winning answer: “How much would you like it to be?”
Bear market: An unpleasant downturn in stock prices, generally exceeding 20
percent, that ends the day after you give up and sell all of your stocks.
Day trader: Someone whose investment time horizon is shorter than yours.
Earnings: (1) Profits. (2) The excess of revenue over expenses. (3) An
arbitrary figure engineered by a company’s executives to facilitate the
rewarding of generous bonuses to themselves.
Long term: That period of time over which I am proven right.
Pro forma earnings: A company’s self-serving earnings statement in which
unfavorable things are disregarded on the grounds that they don’t really matter.
Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil’s Tongue
Bloomberg, Feb 28, 2006
Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.