Ways to achieve a painful, early death

I have great readers, who have brought lots of terrific items to my attention:

However, the law of large numbers has finally caught up with TBP. When there were 1000 people here, there were but a few (only 2 or 3?) brain damaged folks. Now that the total number has scaled up, the blunt head trauma demographic has swollen into a small cottage industry of stupidity.

What a normal smarter person would do is simply delete these email without comment. But I think we can all agree that is not my modus operandi. When I have an itch, I have to scratch it. Hence, the following public service announcements:

1) Stop naming your blogs some variant of The Big Picture. It won’t help your Google score (its based  on URL, not names). All it does is GUARANTEE I will never link to you. Nor will anyone I know. And their friends. Or their friends. Capiche?

2) Don’t beg for a Blogroll listing — it is unseemly. Besides, we have painstakingly detailed our link exchange policy here.

3) Please don’t sign me up for your email lists, newsletters, or invite me to a Yahoo discussion groups. I have neither the time nor the interest. And after the 7th invite from the same group, I just assume its spam, block the address, and never see anything you write again. (also, a CC to Abuse@Yahoo.com can be expected).

4) No, I won’t introduce you to Kudlow or Cramer. 

5) Social networking invites? Puh-leeze — That’s so 2003. Here’s Why I Don’t Do Social Networking Sites;

6) Attachments are verbotten from people I do not personally know (this is good advice for everyone). Send text, and if pictures are a must, then send a link.

Word attachments, from a PR firm? Seriously, how f*&%ing clueless are you? I can only assume your clients are idiots also — for hiring you.

Go_ogle 7) Please do not send me info on something I have already posted on. There is a Google search box at the top right: type in a phrase, and voila!  Prior posts on that subject! 

8) Don’t send me links to items I have already
posted. Don’t send me links to stuff that are months old. And lastly,
don’t send me headline without a link. If you are too damned lazy to
find a link, then I assume whatever story you are sending is lazy and
dumb also.

Ok, rant over . . .

(I feel like a $100 dollars)

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What's been said:

Discussions found on the web:
  1. Winston Munn commented on Sep 20

    Quote: “(I feel like a $100 dollars)”

    Make that $99.97..wait…$99.94…hold on…99.92….

  2. Brian B. commented on Sep 20

    After seeing all the crap I recieve, and I am just some average ‘Joe’, I cant imagine all the garbage you get?!?! I dont know where you find the time to write anything in here, but this is a great blog! Thanks for all your hard work.

  3. Brian B. commented on Sep 20

    BTW,

    Partagas 150, is my favorite cigar, I still have 2 boxes, but they are getting really hard to come by. And a ‘Shiraz’? kinda surprised not a full bodied Cab?

  4. Stuart commented on Sep 20

    Is that US dollars or Canadian dollars?

    Good rant. The fact that you needed to list those PS announcement could be interpreted as a compliment that others just want to either associate directly or indirectly on your radar screen. IMO this is one of the best blogs out there. Topics are relevant, timely, very well presented and the contributors to the comments have made many very well stated discussion points. I’ve picked up alot of details that I did not previously consider, on many topics,……. including music. The exchange of perspectives and viewpoints is engaging and entertaining. I asked a while ago what motivated you to start this blog. There’s alot contributors here that are glad you did.

  5. alexd commented on Sep 20

    Amazing. I had no idea that sh*t like that goes on. Is this a selfish variant on the golden rule?

    I thought the idea is to contribute.

    Have noticed that my stock picks (the ones that are working) seem to be involved with commodities like gold, steel, fertilizer, and funds from other countries esp. pacific ex Japan and Canada.

    Had a great hit with HOV on the pop and now am watching to see if it revives from the subsequent selling so I can buy it back. Any one with an opinion on the behavior of housing stocks? (Besides the fact that they have been sliced and diced. Also I am pondering why I did not immediately sell HOV the next morning after the 28% pop and then when it went to the red short the thing (where I might have gained another 15%.
    If Shakespeare were alive he would write something ironic about people like me!

    SO feel free to take me apart cause I am sure those actions are not unique.

    Thanks again Barry!

  6. alexd commented on Sep 20

    Oh yeah on the HOV action. I lost a few percentage points before I sold. No biggie but the whole psychology thing makes the game.

  7. Scott Frew commented on Sep 20

    Damn, let’s rename it The Big Ventster. And in this holiest of weeks, too. Lansmen?
    Feh.

  8. Elaine Meinel Supkis commented on Sep 20

    Before my own site passed 500, I wanted emails and comments. When it passed several thousand, it does become a problem. One thing though, many of my dear readers do send me emails about things I just posted about…but due to time lags and the fact I only get the mail at sunrise and sunset means they didn’t get the story when I posted at midday, for example, and send their emails right after sunrise!

    So don’t hammer your readers for missing stories. When they do, I thank them for the effort. Emailing may seem easy but it takes time! And one should treasure all of one’s readers. They are our audience!

    I see more than one freakout over emails. A suggestion: have someone else go through them, first. My husband does this for me, for example. He has a good idea, who I want to read closely and respond to.

    But mocking readers is bad…bad. As for people wanting to know celebrities: typical. One should smile when this happens. I used to be in that situation. My mom and dad were famous, once.

    The phone rang off the hook for a week. My mother said, ‘YOU answer the damn phone’ to me. I did.

    This charming man called and said, “I am Marlon Brando and want to talk to your mother.’ I said, ‘She doesn’t want to talk to you or anyone!’

    He called back and said, ‘I am REALLY Marlon Brando! Put your mother on the phone, now!’ So I did and my mother nearly fainted. Heh.

    His family was all messed up by celebrity. I knew them (after this call and other events). What a mess. I felt sorry for them but they were totally ruined by this.

    Yet everyone wants to be celebrities! Go figure.

  9. ilsm commented on Sep 20

    BR,

    That would be about 11430 yen……..

  10. Tom S. commented on Sep 20

    There is always another way to keep the nuts at bay and have some fun.

    My son has the largest Harry Potter website. Rather than get annoyed at stupid e-mails filling his mail account, he started a “Wall of Shame” to feature the knuckleheads….and offered his snarky response to their letters.

    http://www.mugglenet.com/wallofshame.shtml

  11. Chief Tomahawk commented on Sep 20

    Wow, BR: I had no idea the blogosphere was flinging so much your way.

    You ought to diagram it with one of those spider-node graphs used to convey the map of the internet, etc. You can locate a “you are here” for your spammers, a point representing planet Pluto nearby, and indicate it’s closer for them to send their material to the far side of Pluto than it is for them to be relevant to you.

  12. David commented on Sep 20

    Berry you’re a good man!
    Keep up the good work.
    “Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel.” Shakespeare
    Hamlet

  13. Christopher Laudani commented on Sep 20

    Barry,

    What idiot wants to meet Kudlow or Cramer?

    Can you introduce me to Becky Quick or Rebecca Jarvis?

  14. mhm commented on Sep 20

    Maybe it is time to detach your public self BR@TBP from your true self. Much like the Ritholtz Research & Analytics is not you but a legal separate entity.

    Venting is good but it also means you are building up too much pressure inside. Prioritize your worries and get another email address (white listing also works).

    As for the suckers, opportunists and wannabes, just ignore them. (And if you reading this is one of those, quit asking. If you need to ask you can’t have it)

  15. Josh Reich commented on Sep 20

    I wish I saw this before I went to dinner tonight. Perhaps then I would have been less hesitant to come over an express my appreciation for your work here. Keep it up.

    And I’ll be seeing you, and Cramer, at Money:Tech :)

  16. Jochen commented on Sep 21

    Btw.: verboten only has one “t” ;-) At least if it should be a German word…!

  17. 12th percentile commented on Sep 21

    For all those people out there suddenly registering “thebiggerpicture.com” you should know that your google score isn’t based on your URL so don’t bother with that either.

    If you want to rank well on google its easy. Follow Barry’s lead. Create lots of great content every day and get lots of people to link to your great content. Do that for a year or two and you too will be an overnight search engine success.

  18. Joe Klein’s conscience commented on Sep 21

    Who wants to meet Kudlow or Cramer? I thought you’d get a lot more requests to meet Erin Burnett.

  19. Bob Morris commented on Sep 21

    Re housing stocks.

    I can’t see how they will do much but drop. Beazer seems the weakest now. In default on payments, lost seven banks as funders, SEC and Atty Gen. poking around.

    disclosure: have puts on Beazer and others

    Re comments.

    Some huge leftie political blogs have volunteers who prune the comments. After a certain point, one person can’t do it alone. These blogs can get 500 comments on one post…

    Do you filter comments by whether or not they’ve posted before? WordPress allows this and it really helps. Comments from those who have posted appear immediately, those from newbs go into moderation queue. You can also ban by email address.

  20. francine hardaway commented on Sep 21

    The comment spam issue is an ongoing one for tech bloggers, many of whom have turned off the comment feature for a while. But it seems that violates the idea of a blog being a conversation. I supposed you could delete the trolls. As for the emails, the entire world seems to have that problem. And yes, most PR people are behind the curve, which is why we started Social Media Club. The ones who come are educated in blogger etiquette.

  21. L’Emmerdeur commented on Sep 21

    So does this mean that if I see you in Grand Central I shouldn’t start screaming like a little schoolgirl and demanding a pair of your used boxer shorts?

    Cuz I was going to do that to Jonathan Miller once, but then I remembered that anyone involved in New York real estate usually packs heat, and the bulge in his trench coat kinda confirmed this.

  22. Frankie commented on Sep 21

    ” Don’t send me links to stuff that are months old.”

    Even if the link still works? Sorry to nitpick (not my style thank you) but not all the greatest stuff has been written since last week.

    What if I had a link to a good piece on a topic you address, but alas, the link refers to something publish last year?

    Francois

  23. Greg0658 commented on Sep 21

    I had one of those moments too this morn

    reading online TV Technology article on WiMax in NY NY and thought BR might enjoy reading

    but this post restricted my hand to an email forward – but I understand his pov

    I am amazed how accessable this site still is – have you attempted to be fully immersed in Huffington Post – sometimes I feel in here, its time to squelch my fingers, and the day may come because …

  24. howidaytrade commented on Sep 23

    As a new blogger and long time trader I didnt realize there was so much BS out there to run a simple blog.

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