So_long_2 Spitzer has officially resigned.

I was trying to come up with a clever headline for his resignation, but the best I could come up with was the title of  Douglas Adams Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy title.

Can anyone come up with anything better?

Sources:
Spitzer Resigns, Citing Personal Failings
DANNY HAKIM and ANAHAD O’CONNOR
NYT,  March 12, 2008
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/12/nyregion/12cnd-resign.html

Eliot Spitzer Resigns as Governor;
Lt. Gov. Paterson to Succeed Him

A WALL STREET JOURNAL ONLINE NEWS ROUNDUP
March 12, 2008 12:08 p.m.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120532420627930015.html

Category: Books, Legal, Politics

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

92 Responses to “So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish!”

  1. Jackson says:

    “Spitzer Goes Down”

    Or would that be a poor choice of words in this context?

    Ahem.

  2. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Say this Mr. Clean doesn’t clean like it used to

  3. TheGuru says:

    Spitzer Given The Hook(er).

  4. Casey says:

    “Will the last clean politician please turn out the light”

  5. Pool Shark says:

    How about:

    “We apologize for the inconvenience.”

  6. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Spitzer is off the hook(ers).

    Couldn’t rsist Guru. :>)

  7. Don says:

    How about Rosana Rosanadana -

    Never Mind…

  8. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Dennis, I will never tell!

  9. Ross says:

    Old Joe Kennedy

    Dwight Eisenhour

    Georgie Patton

    Jack and Bobby Kennedy

    Ted Kennedy (at least Spitzer didn’t kill anyone

    Bubba Bill Clinton

    What did these men have in common. They didn’t have to pay for it. Spitzer must be a real loser.

  10. JKB says:

    Call Girl Margin Call takes out Spitzer

  11. Paul in NYC says:

    He came in swinging and went out schwinging.

  12. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Ross, I’m thinking Napoleon Complex.

  13. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Paul in NYC, LOL…I quit because there is no way to top yours. Very quick wit with some wisdom hidden in there as well. BRAVO!

  14. some jerk says:

    Spitzer swallows.

  15. dblwyo says:

    There ain’t no such thing as free you-know-what. The only question is the terms and instruments (freely adapted from R.A. Heinlein). As for titles as long as you’re on an Adams roll how ’bout

    1) The Answer Was NOT 44
    or better yet
    2) The Long Dark Tea-time of the Sour

  16. Julian says:

    Does Eliot Spitzerswallows?

  17. Innocent Bystander says:

    Nevermind

  18. Booyaaaa says:

    Good one JKB! shorten it to
    Margin Call (Girl) Sinks Spitz

  19. Pool Shark says:

    dblwyo:

    No, the answer was 42.

  20. Saint Ben says:

    Willy Eliot…nice movie

  21. Pool Shark says:

    How about:

    Only Zaphod Beeblebrox could get a head on the side and still be president.

  22. Pool Shark says:

    btw, I hope she was “the best bang since the big one.”

  23. cathompson says:

    He took it hard.

  24. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    She dropped to her knees when she heard the news!

  25. dianeb says:

    Bye, Eliot. Here’s hooking at you, kid!

    (sorry, I’ll go back to lurking.)

  26. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    She swallowed hard when confronted with the news!

  27. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    He’s gonna have time to fish, so why not buy a boat and name it the “Happy Hooker”.

  28. Retiredinsobe says:

    “He who lives by the sword dies by the sword.”

  29. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Poor kid fell hard for Elliot!

  30. blaas says:

    The mention of Client #9 took me back to my Sesame Street Days (actually college days) and this segment from Schoolhouse Rock called:

    “Naughty Number Nine”

    Number nine will put you on the spot.
    Number nine will tie you up, oh, in a knot.
    When you’re tryin’,
    Multiplyin’ by nine,
    You might give it everything you’ve got
    And still be stopped.
    If you don’t know some secret way you can check on,
    You’ll break your neck on
    Naughty number nine.

    You could use those tricks.
    ‘Cause you must have some secret way you can beat it,
    Or else you’ll meet it
    With naughty number nine.

    If they don’t add up, you’ve made a mistake.
    ‘Cause you must have some secret way you can check it,
    Or else you’ll wreck it
    With naughty, nasty, mean old number nine.

    Bob Dorough
    Grady Tate
    Phil Kimmelman and Associate

    http://www.schoolhouserock.tv/Naughty.html

  31. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    His campaign slogan was, “You always get more bang with Elliot”.

  32. bonghiteric says:

    Governor Resigns! Succums (sic) To Pressure

  33. jw says:

    Ho Long!

  34. shoeless says:

    “Elliot Spitz the Bit”

  35. Ross says:

    STOP, SPECTRE STOP…….I’m ON THE FLOOR POSTING WITH MY TOES!!!!!!!

  36. Emmett says:

    “Pride cometh before the fall.”

  37. Salomon says:

    Spitzer Quits’er

  38. ken h says:

    The life and times of little head Spitz!
    Bringing down the big head!

  39. lurker says:

    Reap what you ho?

    Emmett’s and others are better.

  40. SINGER says:

    “Dude, where’s my job?”

  41. BigDog says:

    “Gov, You’re no Jack Kennedy”
    (credited to Lloyd Bentsen, 1988)

  42. Maggy says:

    Read the last words jerks…(The words in Spitzers mind as he stood there)

    SPITZER’S ACTUAL WORDS [Not reported by the media]

    [Responding to the first question]

    Well … my wife whom I love has been hurt by this, and I am very sorry for that. Very. I never intended to hurt her …

    [The Governor, struggling to gather himself for nearly a minute, then continued.]

    … But now I have to ask why a man’s or a woman’s sexual peccadilloes have to be splashed all over the media in this country. As though private sexual relations between men and women are news.

    You know … the religious NAZIs in this country …. the so-called religious leaders … and the completely corrupt media that are always going on about this sort of thing … maybe it’s time for people to grow up.

    See, I’ve got news for you. All humans are sexually active. And most of of us do have sexual relations outside our main family relationships. That may uncomfortable to hear but its true.

    So-called “religious leaders,” most of whom are certainly “getting a little” on the side — sometimes with men, sometimes with women (and a LOT of politicians too); even some media moguls know this. Everybody knows this. So why is it NEWS?

    I’ll tell you why: Because SEX is used to blackmail and control people by all these so-called “leaders”. They control politics with it. They use SEX for power, the same way rapists do. And that, I grant you, is a slimeball thing to do.

    First they lie to convince you that sex outside marriage is always bad. Then they lie again, pretending that they themselves and other so-called “good” people never do such things. Finally, they lie when they tell you all it’s NEWS … that a political figure sought and found a bit of sexual comfort, in privacy.

    Humans seek and need a lot of sexual comfort in this screwed up world that these so-called leaders have foisted on us all — every one of you does and every damned one of you knows this.

    So if you want to understand our so-called religious leadership in America today … and our so-called political and MEDIA leadership. There is a WORD you should keep in mind … more clearly even than these words: MONEY and BRIBE. The word you should keep in mind is BLACKMAIL.

    An awful lot of politics is controlled by blackmail.

    Think Bush. Think NSA spying. That’s how they’re running the country.

    [Spitzer then abruptly left the briefing room.]

  43. Rod says:

    Probably his is listening The White Album (The Beatles)

    Number 9
    Number 9
    Number 9
    Number 9
    …….9
    …….9

  44. shoeless says:

    Spitzer Pulls Out

  45. Metroplexual says:

    Spitzer goes down!

    Spitzer, I don’t even know her.

  46. Metroplexual says:

    So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night,
    I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
    So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,
    Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

  47. Knowno says:

    For $5500 an hour they should call her Swallow-zer’s Call Girl.

  48. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Elliot Spitzer was seen as a modern day Robin Hood while in fact he was doing Robin for way more than Hood prices”.

  49. IBH says:

    LANG GONE. In honor of his nemesis, Ken Langone.

  50. Chief Tomahawk says:

    Spitzer Stimulous Plan Backfires!

    In a bold initiative, a public figure sought to use own personal funds to boost interstate trade and alleviate a sagging economy. However, Republicans were quick to criticize the plan as wasteful spending: “Typical of Democrats Spitzer wanted the extras!”

  51. Bob Loblaw says:

    Spitzer’s wife rumoured to be intereted in NY governor job.

  52. shoeless says:

    “Elliot Spitzer was seen as a modern day Robin Hood while in fact he was doing Robin for way more than Hood prices”.

    His real name was “Throbbin’ Wood”

  53. J says:

    Deep Throat follows the Money

  54. 81K in prostitution fees!!! Boy did he get screwed!

  55. freejack says:

    “Whadda’ makin’ a Federal case outa dis for?”

    I mean, The Mann Act? Really?

  56. Max says:

    In other news, Dick Grasso is still on trial.

  57. DavidB says:

    “Will the last clean politician please turn out the light”

    How about the first one? Any one? Are there ANY clean politicians out there?

    As for the headline, how about

    NY…Spitzer….out

  58. randy says:

    Hookers aren’t for little kids, they’re for Daddies. Now go get Daddy another beer!

  59. ramstone says:

    Eliot waves goodbye

  60. Lars says:

    Diamonds Are Forever!

  61. john says:

    The Spitz is over?

    He had to do it because it would have been impossible to function but at least he did the right thing which is more than can be said for many. I do find all the self righteous moralizing a bit hard to take though. After all it’s a fair bet that the fifty high class escorts of the Emperors Club are mainly doing overtime with Wall Streeters some of it being paid for with stockholders money. Otherwise why would this high priced meat market exist in NYC and not say Independence, MO. The WSJ ed page indulged in an absolute Spitzer Auto da fe this morning. But then hypocrisy is one of our major national failings.

  62. Michael schumacher says:

    all I can say is that if Spitzer were a GOP product none of this would have come to light.

    Spitzer was stupid and got caught. Does that make Ah-nold any better????

    that this “broke” the evening before the fed crap is purely a coincidence….

    Just like gay marriage was “important” when questions about Iraq became louder and louder. The douche’s that pass as “leaders” couldn’t wait to take him down for all of that pesky regulation he forced them to accept.

    having said that….he should have seen the target on his back…….

    Not an issue at all were he GOP material.

    Ciao
    MS

  63. ECONOMISTA NON GRATA says:

    Sorru I messed up on the previous post…..

    Here is Spitzer at his new job with The BBB…..

    http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/?lnk=v&ml_video=86026

    Econolicious

  64. heres the crude oil says:

    SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE PUSSY

  65. curmudgeonly troll says:

    Spitzer spritzed’er, quitzer, career in the shitzer

  66. SIV says:

    Fucking STEAMROLLED !!!

  67. sebastianz says:

    spitzer: steamrolled out of office
    bush: re-elected

    every nation has the government it deserves.

  68. Kinchip says:

    RIP Elliot Spitzer,
    A man who went to Stomping Corruption to Schtupping Corruption wherever he found it.

  69. Darkness says:

    You are number 9

    I am not a number; I am a free man!

    (Well, freer than he really wanted to be, now.)

  70. MattC says:

    Cmon, this is too easy:

    Spitzer Swallows His Pride

  71. Canuck says:

    “I am tired to be client #9″

    I think that he will be the media boy for Virgin…

    http://www.marketingmag.ca/daily/20080312PM/topstory.html

  72. BigDog says:

    Spitzer hires new assistant, Jack Off.

  73. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    MS, I guess you don’t remember the Speaker of The House who resigned because of an affair during the Clinton Administration. Sheeple make me laugh so please don’t stop with the comedy.

  74. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    I hope he doesn’t do constuction work because every time they yell heave ho he’s gonna be looking for one of his girls.

  75. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Brings a whole new meaning to the song, “Love Potion #9″.

  76. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    He went after Grasso for excessive compensation while he’s toast because of excessive ejaculation.

    You have to know when to Ho em and when to fold em.

  77. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    MS, the target on his back was probably just a stain. It happens.

  78. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    She bent over backwards to please him!

  79. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Maggy, I don’t give a rat’s ass what he said. You true believers are scary as Hell!

  80. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    If he goes to a Dude Ranch, when they yell, “wagons Ho” he will think he has a date.

  81. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    He could do a Campbells Soup Commercial, and the jingle could be…”Ho do you handle a hungry man?…with a man handler!”, sung by one of his lovely ladies of course because they work for their living.

  82. Simon says:

    Spitzer gets Spat????

    Who spat Spitzer???

  83. IBH says:

    in a similar vein, when and if any important female hedge fund manager gets into trouble or passes, the obit could read:

    Devoted Manager
    Beloved Qu(a)nt

    Thank you LD

  84. Bill says:

    Elliot’s Erection Nullifies Election

  85. ray charlesman says:

    How about ‘Skanks for the Memories”

  86. mitch says:

    Above the law (yer)

    the dick stops here

  87. steve says:

    “If you see me getting smaller I’m leaving
    Don’t be grieving
    Just got to get away today…”

    (Waylon Jennings)

  88. Maggy says:

    Spectre…..get a life.

    Read again….made up.

  89. SPECTRE of Deflation says:

    Maggy, Your thoughts regarding Spitzer scare the Hell out of me. True believers like you scare the Hell out of me. You sheeple who lean on one Party or another scare the Hell out of me. Got it true believer?

  90. AndrewBW says:

    Slate headlined their coverage, “Tainted Gov,” which I thought was pretty good.