Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television

And the Supreme Court decision relating to the above: FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION v. PACIFICA FOUNDATION, 438 U.S. 726, 98 S.Ct. 3026 (1978).

Other videos after the jump . . . Home Page:

Other remembrances:

George Carlin, Splenetic Comedian, Dies at 71 (NYT)

It Ain’t So: George Carlin Dies
(Village Voice)

George Carlin: American Radical (The Nation)

George Carlin Changed Comedy

From our files: The
nonconforming George Carlin
(Christian Science Monitor)

The complete works of George Carlin


Baseball versus Football

The 10 Commandments

On "Soft Language"

Modern Man

A Place For Your Stuff


On Religion

Pro Life is Anti-Woman


Quotes from George Carlin
(I’ll bet half of these are not Carlin)

"Thank you Mr. Twain. Have your people call my people."

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth”

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that
apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time,
somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those
people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job

“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”

“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans”

“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would’ve made our arms shorter”

“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”

“When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.”

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My
idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so
both of them together is certain death.

I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d
have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

It’s never just a game when you’re winning.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping
reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree,
something is wrong.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time,
somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those
people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire,
what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do

Religion convinced the world that there’s an invisible man in the
sky who watches everything you do. And there’s 10 things he doesn’t
want you to do or else you’ll go to a burning place with a lake of fire
until the end of eternity. But he loves you! …And he needs money!
He’s all powerful, but he can’t handle money!

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.


Category: Video

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20 Responses to “George Carlin (1937 – 2008)”

  1. BG says:

    Yeah, just heard it.

    It’s a never ending story of all those people who made my younger years so great continuing to check-out one-by-one.

    In the end, all you have left are the memories.

    Thanks George for the memories. Thanks for all those times you made me laugh!

  2. SINGER says:

    R.I.P George Carlin…

  3. bdg123 says:

    George Carlin positively impacted more lives than nearly any person alive over the last thirty yesrs. His passing is a loss for all of us.

  4. My Mom (file under: Ripley’s) first turned me on to Carlin many years ago. I’ve long appreciated his Courage to call it as he sees it. This, using some of those ‘Seven Words’: is a more recent missive from his POV.

    To me, if we, really, care to remember this Man, we’d allow the Courage he displayed to inform our actions.

  5. dark1p says:

    What a sad piece of news. I loved his humor from the time I could understand it in the mid-60s. Such a brilliant and observant man. I had hoped he would be another George Burns and stay with us for a long time to come. Somehow, I think my old age would have been better with him around, but it wasn’t to be.

    I’d say, ‘angels sing thee to thy rest’, but he’d probably just chastise me for bringing up make-believe bulls**t!

    Thanks for everything, George.

  6. Al Czervic says:

    He was probably one of the first to inform his audience that…”the world is run by a very small club and YOU’RE NOT IN IT.”

    I’m really going to miss that guy.

  7. grumpyoldvet says:

    from an old friend and fellow stickball player…R.I.P

  8. Noah says:

    ugh! I just heard it by visiting here. Carlin was one of my favorite comics as a kid, and this just hurts deep inside. I remember seeing his last show on HBO, and he really didnt look that good.

    Thanks for all the laughs George!

  9. Marcus Aurelius says:

    It’s hard getting older. I thought he was older than 71.

    Carlin was the first to show us that we can trust our comics more than our newscasters.

    See ya’, George.

  10. TomD says:

    Thanks, Barry, for the YouTube. GREAT way to start Monday with a laugh.


  11. Arthur says:

    Toledo Window Box was a pretty subversive source for me in my youth.
    I’m struck each time I hear Carlin speak just how careful he was about language; such precision, such care about just which word would come next. No question his timing was great, had a fine voice and biting insight, but for me was a genius of language. They should have put a bit of him on that Voyager space craft gold record back in the ’70s.

  12. Paul in NYC says:

    George Carlin thread can NOT end on a mundane oil production note, so I’ll just add this favorite: “Little Johnny’s Halloween prank of soaping car windows ended on a tragic note last night when one car’s owner was sitting inside with a shotgun.”

  13. Brandon Tew says:

    An absolute genius that will never be forgotten. and will be watched, and listened to and remembered for many years to come.

    George Carlin thanks for 50 years of comedy.


  14. George Carlin was a philosopher. This is perhaps the best observation of the often erroneous and dubious use of causation and correlation:

    “Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.” ~ George Carlin

    Thanks for the thoughts and comedy, George…

  15. Jerm Speaks says:

    I’m still shocked by the news yesterday, but at the same time, I remember much of his philosophy and how humorous he was, especially in his earlier years.

  16. Jerm Speaks says:

    I’m still shocked by the news yesterday, but at the same time, I remember much of his philosophy and how humorous he was, especially in his earlier years.
    Here’s a great quote I love from the guy:
    “Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.”

  17. certified says:

    Remember… if it was his info. or not, he mostly made you laugh and “think”. As any other profession he was a bit raw in the start but; again he was truthful and ahead of his time. I enjoyed him and will remember him…

  18. Alec Miller says:

    Agreed. Carlin was as much a philosopher as he was a comedian. May he join other notable personalities in the Punk Pantheon (a.k.a. a dirt hole 6 feet under) – Nietzshce, Joe Strummer and any other person who`s had the balls to say it like it is. Cheers to Barry too for not drinking the Wall St. punch.

    Thanks Carlin for all the laughs and critical thoughts. If there`s one thing I learned from you it`s that most people in power are full of shit. It may be cynnical but it might just keep me alive in the turbulent times ahead.

  19. Richard says:

    Godspeed, George.

  20. Pat G. says:

    I loved his Hippy-Dippy Weather Man routine. RIP