This will be the funniest thing you read today:

ACME Systematic Leveraged Macro Momentum Fund LP
321 Overprice
Greenwich, CT  00573

Dear Investor,

This letter is
to inform you that the wheels have come off of the proverbial wagon at ACME
Systematic Leveraged Macro Momentum Fund LP, and that the same awesome thematic
portfolio that made you feel (in the first half-year) as if you’d become very
rich in comparison to those sucking wind on their leveraged MBS portfolios or
Japanese Small-Cap Value Funds, has, quite literally, spontaneously combusted in
our faces…

Continued . . .


via Cassandra Does Tokyo 

Category: Credit, Currency, Finance, Hedge Funds, Short Selling

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

10 Responses to “Dear Investor….”

  1. RJ says:

    Bahahah. Someone yelled at me, called me an ass, etc., a few weeks ago when I told them he was a sheep about to get slaughtered when he bought POT at 220. Now it’s the butt of an internet joke!

  2. Deano says:

    That read sounds all too familiar. Was Cassandra hacking into my personal portfolio????

  3. String says:


    This is a hoot, but thank you so much for turning me on to Take a Report. That has to be the funniest, twisted dude in NY !

  4. AC says:

    Classic. Thanks for sharing BR, I am amazed at your ability to find good content on the WWW.

    Reminds me of one of my favorite “Wall St.” quotes from Gordon Gekko:

    “Wanna know why most of the fund managers out there cant beat the S&P…

    Because they are sheep. And sheep get slaughtered.”

    Its just that now we find ourselves with all these extremely “bright”, cream-to-the-top, over-educated, drowned-in-math-with-blinders-on, hedge fund prodigies with alphabet soup after their names who thought they were all hot shit until the quant models broke down…

    Just a new breed of complex hybrid sheep, playing out the same story lines that the sheep always have.

    Jesse Livermore would be laughing in his saddle shoes at the sheer repetitiveness of human nature and how it always seems to play out the same in the market.

    Let me guess… now its long ‘nancials, long dollar, short oil, short ags, short coal, short steel…

  5. VennData says:

    The SEC needs to look at the legality of high water mark clauses. Management must be properly incentivized. In all cases, these restrictions on manager freedom and initiative must be removed retroactively and dynamically as the situation warrants.

    Furthermore the Fed must work with Congress to cut high carried interest rates, or as it should be renamed, a “Work Tax” – since many managers could simply stop working if they choose to.

    Don’t even get me started on removing the cap on Social Security taxes, cuz I’ll tell you who we need to cap…

  6. Cassandra says:

    BR – tnx for the crosslink. It is worth noting – despite my lampoon – that (as with the tech wreck) the majority of sober and experienced managers didn’t overstay their welcomes, and were probably even early in flattening or fading it. All which begs the question as to “who” was responsible for that end-of-Q2 hurrah! in the anti-dollar complex…

  7. NLF says:

    Off topic comment: Did anybody notice that today we crossed a psychological threshold; total banks credit write-offs (Bloom: WDCI) just passed the $ 500 billion mark!

    Just another $500, $1,000 eh $1,500 to go depending on who you ask


  8. Floyd says:

    I think we should check out the people who were conspiring to bring down the stocks they owned.

  9. Carmen says:


  10. Simon says:

    Take a report, Chris Martinson’s, Now This,

    Influentials on the web are the ultimate top
    level filter. Thanks again BR! I’m loving it!

    Where will it all lead? The ultimate Meritocracy? Solutions to perpetual energy and aging? Who knows…