Another Onion classic:

Drawn by a strange force they could neither resist nor describe, millions of Americans reportedly dropped what they were doing Tuesday and, acting as if by instinct alone, gathered into one massive nationwide breadline.

According to witnesses, citizens across the country exited their homes in near unison, leaving behind growing stacks of bills, empty kitchen cupboards, and what was once a life of comfort to form the spontaneous, 2,000-mile-long queue.

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Source:
Nation Instinctively Forms Breadline ^[1]
FEBRUARY 24, 2009 | ISSUE 45•09

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/93430