buddha

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The Jewish Buddha says:

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.

The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.  Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals.  You might want to see a specialist.

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions.  Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself.  The Buddha says, There is no self.  So … maybe we’re off the hook?

Source: Zen Judaism: For You, A Little Enlightenment

Category: Humor, Weekend

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

7 Responses to “Sayings of the Jewish Buddha”

  1. dblwyo says:

    So if we meet the Buddha at the Deli we should feed him instead of killing him ? Would that be a mitzvah ?

  2. [...] You’ll find more over at the Big Picture. [...]

  3. [...] – Good stuff today from Barry Rithholtz.   original is here: [...]

  4. [...] of the Jewish Buddha Posted on Saturday, August 29, 2009 by Bill Sayings of the Jewish Buddha | The Big Picture If there is no self, whose arthritis is [...]

  5. Imelda Blahnik says:

    That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages.

    Barry – I posted a link to this entry on my facebook page. One of my Facebook friends moderates a discussion group/listserv on the social scientific study of religion in China, most members of which are Chinese academics. So now sociologists, anthropologists, etc. all over China, as well as some abroad, have received this in their email inboxes. Frankly, I’m not exactly sure how and if the humor will translate, never mind terms like “bupkis.” :)

  6. Avl Dao says:

    Those were great.
    What has the Jewish Buddha to say about banking and lending practices, and debt levels?