The LLOYD’s Prayer
By Barry Ritholtz - November 12th, 2009, 10:00AM
Richard Ambrose pens this modest variation of The Lord’s Prayer:
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THE LLOYD’s Prayer
Our Chairman,
Who Art At Goldman,
Blankfein Be Thy Name.
The Rally’s Come. God’s Work Be Done
On Earth As There’s No Fear Of Correction.
Give Us This Day Our Daily Gains,
And Bankrupt Our Competitors
As You Taught Lehman and Bear Their Lessons.
And Bring Us Not Under Indictment.
For Thine Is The Treasury,
The House And The Senate
Forever and Ever.
Goldman.
Hat tip Bill King
November 12th, 2009 at 10:06 am
For Thine Is The Treasury,
The House And The Senate
Forever and Ever.
Very funny!
November 12th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Amen.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:21 am
P.S. Thank you for our BONUSES, bountiful as they are…
November 12th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Sacrilege!
November 12th, 2009 at 11:08 am
He’s doing god’s work. He failed to mention that the god was Mammon.
November 12th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Mammon’s relatively benevolent compared to the diety he probably had in mind.
November 12th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Another GS prayer at Zero Hedge comments (HT Jupiter):
The FED is my shepherd; I shall not want.
It maketh me to lie down in green shootsdom: it leadeth me beside the still Lehman.
It restoreth my credit: it leadeth me down the paths of leverage for its name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of debt, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy TARP and thy TALF they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my balance sheet with digits; my bonuses runneth over.
Surely profits and influence shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the FED for ever.
November 12th, 2009 at 11:30 am
“Jesus: God loves me. I know he loves me. I want him to stop. ”
The last temptation of Christ.
November 12th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Don’t you say “Our “Fathers” and “Hail Mary’s as penance?
Hail Money, Morgan Chase.
Our board is with you.
Blessed are you among manna,
and blessed is the route to your boom, fleece us
Holy money, Congressman Dodd,
pray for us winners,
That we may borrow on Sabbath
Amen.
November 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
@ Transor Z
I posted that FLU chart for you…
Flu Chart
November 12th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
That’s great, David! I’m honored.
But in all seriousness, not looking too good for the coming flu season, is it?
November 12th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
This prayer has got it all wrong. Goldman doesn’t pray. Does God pray to Himself?
November 12th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Good line from the Tyler Durdenii on ZH today:
The lord works in mysterious ways. Goldman, when you read between the lines, not so much. The question, however, is why does not one regulator observe what Goldman is doing by flagrantly upgrading the stock of a firm for which it is the lead underwriter and is still in the process of soliciting participation interest, and smite the timid, highly “efficient” good Samaritan like a vengeful, Old Testament god. The answer: divine capture.
November 12th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
I can’t look at Davids FLU chart without agreeing that there is about to be a breakout. How weird is that???
http://singerprofitcharts.blogspot.com/2009/11/flu.html
There’s an article is behavioral psychology in that.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Goldman Pays Junior CDOs Before ‘Junk’ Senior Classes
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a_NUiTt__oI4&pos=6
Who will want to do business with these snakes in the future? Even when you think you have a priority lien, the “fine print” allows Goldman to continue to do “God’s work”.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
The smartest man in the room – but nobody listened.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2nZbo8SKbg
November 12th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Anybody else wondering how the zombie banks are going to be profitable after having decimated their customers and incurring the wrath of Washington?
Credit card interest? Nope moved to a local bank/credit union
Overdraft Fees? Nope, these were so offensive even the Federal Reserve took notice.
Sophisticated Investment Products? You mean after you screwed everybody in the past with your fine print?
Investment Advisory Fees? Why, so you can look at our books and nail us in the markets first opportunity you get?
Do you remember when they were once called Bank and “Trust” Companies? I guess the later part was abolished along with Glass Steagall.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aD_rw6RFY89A&pos=7
November 12th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
You know, you shouldn’t encourage them. They are all probably chanting this prayer in the cafeteria while holding hands as I write this.
November 12th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
How about no fear of conviction raher than correction?
November 13th, 2009 at 1:30 am
I appreciate Bill King posting The Lloyd’s Prayer….since I wrote it. Plagerism is the sincerest form of flattery!
November 13th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
The little Lloyd’s Prayer belongs with those Satanic rites that make mockery by inverting Christian rituals, making their blasphemies the more horrifying. Not even a little bit funny.
November 15th, 2009 at 9:13 am
[...] Ambrose is the author of some amusing financial humor. He is the original author of The Lloyds Prayer that was widely circulated without proper attribution last week (my apologies, [...]
November 15th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
[...] how the heathen on Wall Street have suddenly found that “old time religion.” Hallelujah! Brothers and sisters! Reddit • Digg this • Stumble It • Shout It [...]
November 15th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I’m not very comfortable with that, am I alone to spot some anti-Semitic undertone?
November 16th, 2009 at 6:56 am
[...] Via The Big Picture [...]
November 19th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
For the bonuses we are about to receive, may the Lloyd make us truly thankful.
November 19th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
US Steel (X) has a market capitalization of 5.92 B….Goldman is ‘putting aside’ 16.7B (yes, BILLION… and that’s not Dr Evil saying that… or is it?)…. do the math… they are putting almost 3 times the market capitalization of US Steel… yes… the one that makes all the stuff that builds all the cars.
November 19th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
missed a word on my tiny computer… meant to have said…’they are putting ASIDE almost….’… and thats for compensation, to include the bonuses.