A Blurb for Ben Stein
My publisher writes:
Anyhow, I have a favor—Ben Stein has written a book for us, Little Book of Investing Dos & Don’ts — I’m wondering if I sent you some chapters you could write a sentence or two for the back jacket…
I told them to read my prior Ben Stein posts:
Farewell To Ben Stein (January 29th, 2008)
Good Riddance, Ben Stein (August 7th, 2009)
If they still wanted me to blurb him, I’d be happy to accommodate them. On the off chance they still want a pearl or two from me, I’d better get busy:
“When it came to pundits, few were more irresponsible and outright wrong about the crisis and collapse than Ben Stein; Find out what he’s wrong about now!”
“Filled with money losing advice!”
“This book is the culmination of a longstanding campaign to make himself look foolish. Mission Accomplished!”
Pick your favorite, and slap it on the cover!
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January 13th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Stein: “Darwin = Hitler”
Credibility = zero
‘Nuff said.
January 13th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Barry, wasn’t it your blog who came up with the term “Ben Steinery”?
As an additional thing, you can send them the clip from Peter Schiff Was Right on youtube in which Stein said Merrill Lynch is what he was buying with both arms or something like that.
~~~
BR: Yes it was, I wanted a substitute for “Tom Foolery.”
January 13th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
LOL-
but remember- he won’t be there for you on your next book–
you have to be a player-
how about-
“Ben Stein- not just a pixie in the The Fairly Odd Parents- but financial advice too!
January 13th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
LMFAO!!!!
Does your publisher even know you?
I read the first sentence and asked myself, “is this a joke?”
BTY, I like the first blurb because IT IS SO ACCURATE.
I can’t believe your publisher still wants to publish him. C’est la vie
January 13th, 2010 at 2:08 pm
The Entire Contents of Ben Stein’s New Book
Investing Do’s = the opposite of what I recommend…
Investing Don’ts = anything I suggest…
If you want to lose everything, this is the only book you need!
January 13th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Thanks for that BR, literally laughing out loud.
January 13th, 2010 at 2:24 pm
As a decency to your publisher, you should offer a better title which shouldn’t be too far off the mark:
“The Shorter’s Bible – How to short the market and win”
January 13th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
That is pretty hilarious. Gotta sell them books somehow..
January 13th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Ben Stein, a one-man argument against evolution
January 13th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
You should have accepted. You could have written something that sounds great but is much more ambiguous on 2nd reading, and damning praise on third reading, and outright negative as you ponder it.
Something like:
~~~
BR: You may be on to something!
January 13th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
s/b probably:
“dos – and don’ts – of investing and money management!”
January 13th, 2010 at 2:39 pm
“It should have been him and not Puppy Wuppy.”
January 13th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
“Find out how to win Ben Stein’s Money!”
January 13th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
“Bueller, Bueller, anyone”?
January 13th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
Ritholtz, sometimes you have to play ball, now there’s a good chance your publisher is gonna drop you
~~~
BR: Way too late for that! More on this in the future …
January 13th, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Ghost write.
January 13th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
They always say you can read an author’s emotions in his writings… Your quotes seemed to ellict the hairs on my neck rising and a feeling to look back over my shoulder! Freak’n hillarious! Big set of’em there Barry!
January 13th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
Ritholtz, sometimes you have to play ball, now there’s a good chance your publisher is gonna drop you
~~~
BR: Way too late for that! More on this in the future …
And this is exactly why I like Barry. As soon as I read this post, I knew he could give a fuck about his publisher.
You’re a fine American Barry Ritholtz.
January 13th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
heh heh
I may have to follow Mike S brilliant suggestion. . . .
January 13th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
So presumably the talking squirrel from his commmercial wasn’t available?
January 13th, 2010 at 8:04 pm
I second Mike S.
If you are too blind for the sarcasm meter to twitch when you read the back cover blurb on Ben Stein’s book (or the truth meter on any book blurb for that matter) you deserve to get hosed.
Perhaps you can incorporate some bible quotes on false profits/prophets:
http://biblelight.net/false-prophets.htm
LOL!
or
“He made, Jimmy Kimmel rich and Famous, now it’s YOUR turn, America!”
January 13th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Blurbs don’t *have* to be positive.
For Iain Banks’ novel The Wasp Factory, they scattered nasty blurbs among the positive blurbs:
Times of London: “The Wasp Factory’ soars to the level of mediocrity. Maybe the crassly explicit language, the obscenity of the plot, were thought to strike an agreeably avant-garde note. Perhaps it is all a joke, meant to fool literary London into respect for rubbish.”
Irish Times: “It is a sick, sick world when the confidence and investment of an astute firm of publishers is justified by a work of unparalleled depravity”
January 13th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
You could simply pretend to have your authors confused.
Stein is a master storyteller….
January 13th, 2010 at 9:34 pm
Ben Stein shows you what is wrong with the market pundits.
Recognizing bad advice is the first lesson. A lesson that begins on the first page and never lets up.
Or – Investment advice straight out of “Genesis.”
You could always go with the classic Dorothy Parker review –
“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
And everything that Stein writes is fiction.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
“This book stands as a testament to the idea that investors need to be wary of pundits and prognosticators, to think for themselves, to recognize bad advice. That’s a lesson that begins on the first page and never lets up”
January 14th, 2010 at 1:20 am
I haven’t laughed this hard in a few days. You should try some for Stein’s “documentary” where the core argument is Darwin was wrong because Atheism caused the Holocaust. LOL. He failed to mention how many souls have floated to the heavens on the back of Theism. Well, whether it’s finance or religion, at least Ben is consistent with his deranged logic.
January 14th, 2010 at 1:23 am
Oh yeah, a great tag for Ben’s new book:
“If you liked “Yes, You Can Get A Financial Life!”, you won’t have the cash to take Stein’s most recent bullshit out of the bookstore.”
January 14th, 2010 at 2:20 am
This is another example of the book jacket quotes offering more useful information than the entire book.
How many trees are going to die needlessly so that Ben Stein can scribble even more nonsense?
Maybe its just labeled a financial book so Ben can sneak in a few of his creationist foolishness musings.
January 14th, 2010 at 8:24 am
Hidden in plain sight.
This man wears dress suits with the same trademarked black Converse All-Stars! He gives it all away
before you need your ears or hands to turn the page. A-Hole supreme, on -the-rocks.
South of the Border, he’s 120% cabron
January 14th, 2010 at 11:26 am
“Run, don’t walk, to the nearest library to borrow this! Worth every penny.”
January 14th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Be very carefull -It will probably end up as:
“When it came to pundits, few were more …responsible and …right… about the crisis and collapse than Ben Stein”
“Filled with money… advice!”
“This book is the culmination of a longstanding campaign… Mission Accomplished!”
Barry Ritholtz
January 14th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
On Barry’s behalf, I wrote the entry for Ben Steinery in RationalWiki a few months back. It’s still there:
http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Ben_Steinery
January 20th, 2010 at 4:29 am
BR,
I love the rewrite. :-)
If only I had that kind of style.