This is perfect for a Friday afternoon: An amusing romp thru Wall Street:


click for ginormous graphic


Via William Banzai7

Category: Humor, Legal

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

30 Responses to “Periodic Table of Wall Street Criminal Elements”

  1. dan10400 says:

    OK, cute. It would be nice if there was a version which had jail bars in front of those ‘celebrity squares’ though.

  2. JustinTheSkeptic says:

    They all turn crap into gold for themselves though! Aint that America!!!

  3. NoKidding says:

    I don’t see Bushium or Paulsonite in the cleptocrat family.
    Have you turned into a EIB network ditto head?

  4. dead hobo says:

    Thank you for this gold. This guy’s website is absolute treasure. It’s been bookmarked and that bookmark will be used a lot.

  5. call me ahab says:

    Roubini and Taleb?

  6. mailman says:

    Barry – First post here. Awesome blog and great follow-up by the readers. Learned much and I thank you for that.

    Just a comment about ECRI and their team. I believe ZH also covered this today. They seem to be issuing numbers around 10, or just below it, only to be revised later. Wondering if Lakshman and gang are upto something here – perhaps spindoctorium !?

  7. AHodge says:

    they could do better for treas secy G
    i suggest fellatium or fallacium. both pronounced the same

  8. dead hobo says:

    call me ahab Says:
    August 27th, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    Roubini and Taleb?

    They don’t apply. Roubini hates everything and Taleb is too cool to admit anything that might bite his ass later.

  9. dead hobo says:

    correction: see doomium

  10. call me ahab says:


    they are on the criminal element list- so I was wondering WTF? Considering they were pretty vocal about coming calamity- especially Roubini-

    It would be like seeing a ritholtzium on the list

  11. call me ahab says:

    also- dh-

    Taleb is listed as blackswanium and Roubini as doomium

  12. zdog says:

    Is the right most column the Noble Gasbags?

  13. b_thunder says:

    Glad to see Maria Fart Aroma in the table. Not a thief, but an accomplice.

    *** But ***

    Where the F^&*K are the largest perpetrators of the crash: Bush, Paulson, Kash-n-Carry, and some of the biggest beneficiaries like Bill “nationalize all housing financing” Gross?

    W/out Bush and Paulson this “table” looks like a political ad.

  14. MorticiaA says:

    Greenspan doesn’t even get an “-ium.”

  15. If you look at the color coding, you’ll note that Taleb, Roubini and Soros all fall into the “anti matter” category. I suspect that means they are the “anti matter” to the criminal elements, i.e. non-criminal themselves.

    Agree that Bush and Paulson are at least as deserving of inclusion as Obama, though I’d also add Gramm and Clinton. It’s not like this started last year.

  16. call me ahab says:


    good catch- missed that on the anti-matter-

    Gramm is revolvingdooron- I think

  17. zitidiamond says:

    Banzai makes a terrible error in not including the Founding Father of Voodoo economics, the man who taught Dick Cheney that deficits don’t matter and who refused to reappoint Paul Volcker to a second term for not deregulating the financial industry– Mr. Ronnie Reagan.

  18. Sorry, I missed Gramm. He should have had a more obvious name, like Grammanium or some such…

  19. TerryC says:

    There needs to be a separate series of manmade elements along the bottom. Here, by nuclear synthesis, you could add several heads to Greenspan and call the new element Maestronium.

  20. ToNYC says:

    The analysis of a half-baked presentation is a bridge too far. Roll another one; the pictures work but the Chemistry blows. Give Mendeleev some props. As a work-in-progress, nice try.

  21. peachin says:

    I don’t get it?

    There are about 5,000 + or – people who have been on Wall Street during this statute of limitations time period who belong behind bars. No cartoons, no Weekend Getaway Jokes by Wall Street 60 yr old + moneyed conservative people – let’s get some real pictures up with “real reasons” and and penalize them by confiscating their wealth ( putting their families out on the streets) and do weekly repentance stories from Federal Prisons – on how they have found God and all the other bull shit that makes them empty souls…
    maybe even some live suicides…. lets get real!

  22. gmherger says:

    Someone ought to go through The Inferno (I have an old John Ciardi translation) and place the dastards in the appropriate circles/bolgias of Hell.

    I nominate Circle Eight, Bolgia Seven. Hideous reptiles coil themselves around the damned. Each sinner’s hands bound behind and coils through their groins. Other reptiles/snakes dart about. One flies into and tears open the jugular of the damned who bursts into flame and only ashes remain. The sinner painfully reforms from the ashes. They are eternally punished: as they destroyed their fellow man by making his wealth disapppear so are they in Hell.

    Some crimes may justify the policies and procedures of the Spanish Inquisition… thumb screws, the rack …

  23. Fredex says:

    Obama stands in place of helium, a lightweight and inactive element.

    OK, that works.

  24. Latesummer2009 says:


  25. mservat says:

    It looks like a republican add. I don’t see President Bush and Mr. Henry Paulson in this Mendelif’s table of Wall Street Criminal Elements.

  26. IS_LM says:

    It looks like a republican add. I don’t see President Bush and Mr. Henry Paulson in this Mendelif’s table of Wall Street Criminal Elements.

    It just betrays the partisan nature of this guy’s website. On the other hand, financiers are raising lots of money for Republicans who opposed basic financial reforms, which tells you all you need to know about the finance industry.

  27. WilliamBanzai7 says:

    Call me anything you like, but partisan. If you look at my posts in 2008, you will see that I was a staunch supporter of Obama.

    Now I would say that my disaffection with his performance equals or exceeds my disgust with the GOP’s douchebags.

    I expected what we got from them. But I expected much more from Obama. I won’t even give him credit for trying since in my view all he has done is perpetuate the corrupt financiers.

    In short, I’m not partisan, I hate em all.

    Thanks for the exposure and comments all. I have revised the table to include Bubbium, Dubyium and Bonzonium

  28. VennData says:

    No Christopher Cox? He’s the freakin’ oxygen of the thing.