I like a legal department that has a sense of humor. This is the standard disclaimer that Contango Oil & Gas Company (MCF) includes with their quarterly earnings reports:

Lawyer Stuff

The future is unknowable. We have good intentions but all of our projections and estimates will be wrong, and could be materially wrong. Wildcat exploration is expensive, speculative and potentially dangerous. An offshore spill or explosion would be enormously expensive. We have insurance but it may not be enough. You could lose your entire investment. Don’t be lazy – read our 10-Q’s, 10-K’s and press releases, and if you lose money – please no tears.

“Don’t forget about risk-free T-bills in your portfolio…After inflation and taxes you’ll likely only lose 5-10% of your investment.”

- Contango V.P. Investor Relations

Great stuff!

Hat tip Aurelian Management

~~~

Contango_PCP2012

Category: Corporate Management, Earnings, Humor

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

15 Responses to “Best Disclaimer Language Ever”

  1. LostinATX says:

    Ken Peak is cut from the same cloth as the folks at Expeditors. Love ‘em both!

  2. formerlawyer says:

    A plain-language handbook from the SEC
    http://www.sec.gov/pdf/handbook.pdf

    Article from Slate on e-mail disclaimers:
    http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/press_box/2004/06/email_confidential.single.html

    The longest (in 2001) e-mail disclaimer referenced in the above article:
    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/05/18/the_2001_daftas_longest_email/

    A sample of standard form legal disclaimers:
    http://www.csss-sa.com/disclaimers/disclaimer.html

  3. cfischer says:

    It’s good stuff. They have the same disclaimer on all their investors presentations.

    Did you know the entire company employees *8* people? I think it’s fantastic.

  4. notakid says:

    The future is unknowable. We have good intentions but all of our projections and estimates (even after fact)will be wrong, and could be materially WRONG!

    Ha Ha

    sounds like a good template for the BLS reports.

  5. Bill Wilson says:

    “…You could lose your entire investment. Don’t be lazy – read our 10-Q’s, 10-K’s and press releases, and if you lose money – please no tears.”

    I wish the same attitude were applied to AAA ratings.

  6. cthwaites says:

    I like the last sentence (T-Bills)….will have to float that past FINRA….see if they like it.

  7. [...] The best disclaimer language ever.  (Big Picture) [...]

  8. Bob is still unemployed   says:

    In a similar vein, here is a privacy policy that, unlike most, is honest about how they protect your privacy.

  9. Braden says:

    It reminds me of the disclaimer from the business plan in Cryptonomicon:

    “EXTREMELY SERIOUS WARNING (printed out on a separate page, in red letters on a yellow background): Unless you are as smart as Johann Karl Friedrich Gauss, savvy as a half-blind Calcutta bootblack, tough as General William Tecumseh Sherman, rich as the Queen of England, emotionally resilient as a Red Sox fan, and as generally able to take care of yourself as the average nuclear submarine commander, you should never have been allowed near this document. Please dispose of it as you would any piece of high-level radioactive waste and then arrange with a qualified surgeon to amputate your arms at the elbows and gouge your eyes from their sockets. This warning is necessary because once, a hundred years ago, a little old lady in Kentucky put a hundred dollars into a dry goods company that went belly-up and returned her only ninety-nine dollars. Ever since, the government has been on our asses. If you ignore this warning, read on at your peril — you are dead certain to lose everything you’ve got and live out your final decades beating back waves of termites in a Mississippi Delta leper colony.

    Still reading? Great. Now that we’ve scared off the lightweights, let’s get down to business.”

  10. carleric says:

    Sure beats the heck out of the gooblegook spewed by sell-side analyists, professional money managers, each and everyspokesman for the Federal Reserve or the BLS. I think I will buy some Contango. Truth depicted as humor should always be rewarded

  11. theexpertisin says:

    The best humor contains an element of truth.

    Very funny post.

  12. [...] http://www.ritholtz.com Tagged Financial reports, humor. Bookmark the permalink. « Facebook’s “hot [...]

  13. bsmi021 says:

    This has to be the best disclaimer i have ever seen,the people involved with writing this should a award!

  14. [...] Best Disclaimer Language Ever | The Big Picture [...]