Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid … So Here’s Some Comic Relief

I have exhaustively documented the fact that fear of terror makes people stupid and easy to manipulate, and that the government intentionally exaggerates the threat of terrorism in order to make people afraid.  Indeed, Americans’ overblown fear of terrorism is arguably the root cause of our loss of prosperity and freedom.

Because humor is a great antidote to fear, I am sharing this 2003 spoof on terror scaremongering (it is admittedly rather adolescent … but amusing):

The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/. It’s another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old “duck and cover” advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.

image1 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

image2 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

image3 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

image4 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.

image5 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

image6 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

image7 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
[Adam Levine] is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away.

image8 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.

image9 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

image10 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

image11 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.

image12 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

image13 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you’ve become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

image14 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

image15 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

image16 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

image17 Fear of Terror Makes People Stupid ... So Heres Some Comic Relief
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

Category: Humor, Think Tank

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.

6 Responses to “Comic Relief for Fear of Terror”

  1. Moe says:

    WELL DONE!

  2. Low Budget Dave says:

    In all fairness, Ready.gov has made a lot of improvements since then. They may not even still offer those drawings. These days, it is just a series of brocures on how to prepare for an emergency. Considering how many people seem to think that the election is a referendum on who can be the most extreme, it might be a good idea to plan for a whole series of emergencies.

  3. Moe says:

    I’m particularly fond of the brochure on how to defend yourself against penguin attacks.

  4. theexpertisin says:

    Paying hundreds of billions for the presumption of safety from our government, only to be scammed with political correctness, grandma pat-downs, a military prepared to fight…the last war, and a plethora of rules, regulations and executive orders that erode our freedom.

    The direction we are headed, I think many folks may be cajoled into regarding the above panels seriously. Submit and obey. The government is your friend and protector.

  5. janchup says:

    “Whether the mask is labelled Fascism, Democracy, or Dictatorship of the Proletariat, our great adversary remains the Apparatus—the bureaucracy, the police, the military. Not the one facing us across the frontier or the battlelines, which is not so much our enemy as our brother’s enemy, but the one that calls itself our protector and makes us its slaves. No matter what the circumstances, the worst betrayal will always be to subordinate ourselves to this Apparatus, and to trample underfoot, in its service, all human values in ourselves and in others.” – Simone Weil

  6. blackjaquekerouac says:

    “deal with the devil” when you take money from Washington. Wall Street would have been much better off if they had simply failed and proceeded to the bankruptcy Judge. this mere “War on Terror” is now being morphed into a war of “all against all” by the New York media. If they succeed i’m not sure if there will be much of a New York media left to report on it…as “that’s Washington Business numero uno.”