Posts filed under “Weekend”
Could Make Prosecution Difficult, Experts Say
NORFOLK, VIRGINIA – (The Borowitz Report) Eleven indicted Somali pirates dropped a bombshell in a U.S. court today, revealing that their entire piracy operation is a subsidiary of banking giant Goldman Sachs.
There was an audible gasp in the courtroom when the leader of the pirates announced, “We are doing God’s work. We work for Lloyd Blankfein.”
The pirate, who said he earned a bonus of $48 million in dubloons last year, elaborated on the nature of the Somalis’ work for Goldman, explaining that the pirates forcibly attacked ships that Goldman had already shorted.
“We were functioning as investment bankers, only every day was casual Friday,” the pirate said.
The pirate acknowledged that they merged their operations with Goldman in late 2008 to take advantage of the more relaxed regulations governing bankers as opposed to pirates, “plus to get our share of the bailout money.”
In the aftermath of the shocking revelations, government prosecutors were scrambling to see if they still had a case against the Somali pirates, who would now be treated as bankers in the eyes of the law.
“There are lots of laws that could bring these guys down if they were, in fact, pirates,” one government source said. “But if they’re bankers, our hands are tied.” More here.
Pretty cool stuff: Source: Transparent Nissan 370Z is the star in this sweet engine oil ad Devin Coldewey Crunchgear, April 23, 2010 http://www.crunchgear.com/2010/04/23/transparent-nissan-370z-is-the-star-in-this-sweet-engine-oil-ad/
A recent emailer wrote:
You seem to be very knowledgeable about cars — but what about those of us who don’t have six figures to spend on a flashy rocket sled? I am shopping for my son, who will be 18 years old later this year. I want to get him something that will be reliable and fun, but nothing that will get him in to trouble — no muscle cars like the Camaro or Challenger.
The car I just recommended for my nephew, who will be 17 year old and a senior next year is this: The Nissan Juke. (My only connection to Nissan is the missus’ Daily Driver is a 370Z)
Its cheap (starts under $20k), youthful and unlike anything else on the market from mainstream autos. Its been out in Europe for some time now, seems to get decent gas mileage, and has a suprisingly sophisticated AWD system for an inexpensive car similar to the Acura S-AWD system. ( More details from Nissan are after the jump).
I suspect Nissan thinks this can be a high volume model, competing with ther Civic/CRV or RAV4. It looks like Nissan spent a ton of money on some very slick videos (see their site, or go to the videos here).
And as the photos show, its definitely funky:
Wired Autopia: “Porsche 911s and Nissan GT-Rs and Corvette ZR1s are very nice cars and quite quick around the Nürburgring Nordschleife. But they must bow before the new king of the ‘Ring, the Ferrari 599XX. The 700-horsepower über-Ferrari is the first-ever production-derived sports car to break the 7-minute barrier at the classic 20.832 kilometer Nordschleife…Read More
Chevrolet Volt car, the MPV5′s wheels are powered by electricity coming from a large lithium-ion battery. The MPV5 can drive up to 32 miles in city traffic on a fully charged battery. A small gasoline engine generates electricity for longer drives
‘Will Do Less Harm’ in New Post, Says Treasury Spokesperson NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In a settlement of the government’s securities fraud case against Goldman Sachs, the bank’s CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, has agreed to perform two years of community service as Treasury Secretary of the United States. At a press conference in New…Read More