A fun email circulating trading desks, worthwhile as an informal measure of sentiment:
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
How various firms on Wall Street are disappearing: > click for ginormous > Source: Wall Street, R.I.P.: The End of an Era, Even at Goldman JULIE CRESWELL and BEN WHITE NYT, September 27, 2008 http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/28/business/28lloyd.html
Speaking of pulling another trick out of the bag, here is the Fed statement on the latest alphabet scramble (CPFF) form of lending:
"The Federal Reserve Board on Tuesday announced the creation of the Commercial
Paper Funding Facility (CPFF), a facility that will complement the Federal
Reserve’s existing credit facilities to help provide liquidity to term funding
markets. The CPFF will provide a liquidity backstop to U.S. issuers of
commercial paper through a special purpose vehicle (SPV) that will purchase
three-month unsecured and asset-backed commercial paper directly from eligible
issuers. The Federal Reserve will provide financing to the SPV under the CPFF
and will be secured by all of the assets of the SPV and, in the case of
commercial paper that is not asset-backed commercial paper, by the retention of
up-front fees paid by the issuers or by other forms of security acceptable to
the Federal Reserve in consultation with market participants. The Treasury
believes this facility is necessary to prevent substantial disruptions to the
financial markets and the economy and will make a special deposit at the Federal
Reserve Bank of New York in support of this facility." (continued below)
Markets give up 100+ gains, still unsure of what direction to take . . .
Commercial Paper Funding Facility (CPFF)
Federal Reserve, October 7, 2008
Category: Federal Reserve
On Friday Congress finally passed – and President Bush signed into law – a financial rescue package in which the taxpayers will buy up Wall Street’s bad investments.
The numbers are staggering, but they don’t begin to explain the greed and incompetence that created this mess.
It began with a terrible bet that was magnified by reckless borrowing, complex securities, and a vast, unregulated shadow market worth nearly $60 trillion that hid the risks until it was too late to do anything about them.
And as correspondent Steve Kroft reports, it’s far from being over.
A Look At Wall Street’s Shadow Market: How Some Arcane Wall Street Financial Instruments Magnified Economic Crisis
CBS 60 Minutes, Oct. 5, 2008