Retailers: Please buy a $%#!@& Calendar

"Retailers Blame Later Easter for Sluggish Sales"

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Is anyone else as tired as I am about these kinds of absurd excuse making from certain cretins in the retail sector?  Jeez, its as if they don’t know what a calendar is.

ATTENTION ALL RETAILERS

IN 2007 and 2009, Easter Sunday is in April also.

2007: Easter Sunday is April 8th.

2009: Easter Sunday is April 12.

PLEASE PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

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Might that help? I dunno. Perhaps in the future, they can check this site occasionally.

Of course, this excuse making is just that; No one believes that these retail sales shortfalls were a surprise that could have been avoided with a $7.95 yearly calendar from Staples. Anyone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together knows that these sorts of excuse are proof positive that some people are completely and totally full of shit. (sorry for the use of technical jargon).

So too are excuses about the Olympics hurting sales at a restaurant chain (run a promotion, you morons). I can almost give those retailers a pass who blamed Reagan’s funeral — but then again, I would have put some Jelly Beans, American flags, DVDs and/or a Reagan Biography on sale and advertised a special Presidential Sales event. Of course, it was totally unforeseeable that a 93 year old man with an very advanced case of a terminal disease might die.

We also know that in the North, in the Winter, it snows — how about budgeting for that possibility? Sell shovels and winter coats. But please stop making iditiotic excuses. You only make yourselves look foolish . . .

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UPDATE April 11, 2006 8:09pm

Goldman Sachs says: "Late Easter Flattens Soda Sales"   

Soda? Now Easter is to blame for soda sales.
I say "Bah, Humbug."

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Source:
Retailers Blame Later Easter for Sluggish Sales
ELLEN BYRON
WSJ, April 7, 2006; Page A3
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB114432185573518717.html

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