Its been a challenging few years for Goldman Sachs. The financial collapse, the bailouts, the SEC case. That damned Matt Taibbi refuses to go away (what the hell is a Vampire Squid, anyway?).
Their latest plan: A PR campaign designed to show the softer side of Goldman, letting the public know what they really do (is that Buffett’s fingerprints we see on this idea?).
As soon as Dealbook reported the plan, we just knew had to help Goldie with such a noble undertaking. So we asked readers to contribute ideas, and soon 100s of suggestions came pouring forth for the new GS ad campaign. These included ad slogans and tag lines, lots of variations of existing campaigns, quotes from movies (especially the Godfather). Oh, and the word Fuck. Lots and lots of uses of the word fuck.
We culled down the entries to a Top 10 list
Top 10 Ideas for Goldman Sachs New Ad Campaign
10. Under Buffett’s protection since 2008
9. Putting the zero in zero-sum game.
8. Government Bailout: $29 billion
SEC Settlement: $550 million
Doing God’s work? Priceless.
7. Helping you forget about Bernie Madoff one CDO at a time
6. Goldman Sachs: America’s Counterparty
5. Let us do for you what we did for Greece.
4. Like we give a fuck what you think about us . . .
3. Goldman Sachs: There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s JPMorgan.
2. The Rothschilds were Pussies
And the number 1 advertising slogan for the new Goldman Sachs ad campaign:
1. We put the douche in fiduciary
Runners up and Honorable Mentions here
Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.