Earlier today, my boy Josh Brown tweeted this:
That caused a huge commotion as #GeithnerBookTitles took off on Twitter. But the microblogging site is less than idea for these sorts of ventures.
Instead, querying readers in this environment has worked really well (See this for an example with the winning answers here). So, I open up the floor to the assembled multitudes — what should Timmeh title his book?
Here are a few ideas to start the creative juices flowing:
Saving Private Giants
Tuesdays with Paulson
The Dukes of Moral Hazzard (co-written with Larry Summers)
Crime and No Punishment
The World According to TARP
Atlas Bugged
A Tale of Two Citis
Chicken Soup for the Captured Regulator
Optimus Subprime, The Financial Transformer.
Portrait of the Banker as a Young Bureaucrat
Currency debasement for dummies
Days of Plunder
Fear And Loathing At The Federal Reserve
It Takes a Pillage
Where the Subprime Things Are
What To Expect When You’re Expecting A Bailout
‘Find it! Falsify it! Foreclose it!: Make Millions in Real Estate One House At A Time
Any other ideas for Tim Geithner? He can certainly use your help in finding a book title . . .
AP: Timothy Geithner planning book
Category: Bailouts, Humor, Really, really bad calls
Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor implied. If you could repeat previously discredited memes or steer the conversation into irrelevant, off topic discussions, it would be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous.
TARPtanic, The Scarlet Bailout
When I first glanced at the tweet, my confused mind thought it said “Saving Giants Privates”.
But after reading it correctly, and having time to contemplate the situation, I’ll have to stick with my first impression.
“The Irrigator”
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/irrigator
“Holly GoLYTELY”
http://www.thepoisonreview.com/2010/02/27/golytely-or-nogo-lets-be-real-about-whole-bowel-irrigation/
sub- “I carried the Water, as it was (pre-)/scripted.”
Home Alone 5
“The Passion of Tim Geithner”
@gary_weiss
“The 7 Habits of Highly Defective People”
Ooh. #geithnerbooktitles looks like a lot of fun. Can I play? How about TARP and Peace?
Dude, Where’s My Debit Card?
A Farewell to ARMs
Brave New World II
Far in the future, the World Controllers have created the ideal society. Through clever use of genetic engineering, brainwashing and recreational sex and drugs all its members are happy consumers.
Plunderer’s Progress
Catch 22 Trillion
The Autobiography of Jamie Dimon’s Buttboy
I can’t get my brain to work: Pride and Precipice?
The Dukes of Moral Hazzard rocks.
All Banks are Equal, but Some Banks are more Equal than Others
Frankenblancfein
Fuck You, World (Brave New World)
Catch 22 Trillion
Go the F*ck to Sleep
I Fought the Law, and I Won
The Greatest Robbery
The Grifters – Gangham Style
Teabagging Blankfein: Don’t Speak With Your Mouth Full
Asleep at the Switch: A Gentleman’s Guide to Implausible Deniability
How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love (Defrauding) Your Bonds
Saving Private Dimon
The Man Who Sold (Out) the World
Dummies Guide to Guillotine Avoidance
Financial Terrorism 101: An Amoral Perspective
The Joys of Cooking (My Books)
Humility: Essays for Oligarchs
The Exorcist
Theft For Dummies.
Suckers!
Notes on HAMP.
To Kill a Middleclass
No Country for Honest Men
Forrest Geithner
The Geithenator Salvation
Rin Tim Tim
No Country For Goldman
Superbad
Empires of Mediocrity
Senator I can answer that!
The Path to Nothing
The Worst Tim Time
And of course
Geithner Nation
Crime and No Punishment
Treasury Buy-Land
ZIRP and the Greeks
100 Weeks of Suckitude
On the Diminution of Specie
Maestro and Me
I Was A Teenage Central Banker
Brother, Can You Spare Seven Trillion Dimes?
What color is your bailout?
The Bailout: A History, A Theory, A Flood
Fahrenheit 110-343
Dimons are Forever.
Ex plures ut pauci.
No skin in the game. subtitle: It wasn’t my money, I didn’t even pay my taxes.
Bonfire of the sanities.
It should have been “Bailout Nation” but that was already taken!
kapil Says:
It should have been “Bailout Nation” but that was already taken!
And we’re done!!!!
Geithenetics
“Chains you can be leavin’.” with a picture of a family being thrown out of their foreclosed home.
Bonfire of the Sanities
There’s got to be a way to work in a “Vikram Yoga”and/or devil’s cookbook reference. Since my own pop culture bank went into liquidation in 1997, I need someone to take the pitch.
If we’re going to play this game on my level, then it’s Gay-chicken Soup for the Soulless.
Saving God’s Workers
Middle Class, We Hardly Knew Ye
Making Socialism Work For Plutocrats
Requiem For FDR
Somebody Up There Likes Me ?
Max Pain
The Hurt Volcker
The Curious Case of Ben Bernanke
Zero Dark 1930 – Part 2
Before the Devil knows your Insolvent
The Art of More
There will be Blood in the Streets
Black HELOC Down
Bowling for Countrywide
How about a children’s theme? Some classic examples might be:
Little Pretty Pocket-book (with apologies to John Newbery)
Fairy Tales (with apologies to Hans Christian Anderson)
Great Expectations (with apologies to Charles Dickens)
The Adventures of Pinocchio (with apologies to Carlo Collodi)
Seven Little Austrians (with apologies to Ethel Turner)
The Lost World (with apologies to Arthur Conan Doyle)
Fifty Shades of Geithner
Of course, could just reuse ‘The Idiot’ but Dostoevsky might not like that…
When you point your finger at someone else, notice there are three pointing back at you
“Dr. StrangeMoney or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Banks”
Your list of Geithner titles is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time.
It takes a pillage? Brilliant.
Called to Serve: Helping God’s Best Do Their Worst
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Prevarication, but Didn’t Know Who to Ask.
A Fistula Full of (Fiat) Dollars
Looking for Mr. GoodWeasel
Don’t Buy This Bank.
The Tranche Connection
Interview With a Vampire Squid
* An Idiot’s Guide To Screwing Up the Economy
* What I Saw at the (Socialist) Revolution
* How To Screw Up a Perfectly Good Bailout
* Loving the Guy in the White House (Who Couldn’t Care Less About Me)
* It’s the Other Guys’ Fault: My Time With Hank Paulson Bailing Out the Big Banks
* Mysteries of Space: How a Guy With Little Between His Ears Made It So Far
* The White House Diet: Forget What Michelle Says About Eating Well, Just Work for Her Husband
* How To Keep Failing Upward
* 50 Shades of Truth: Fooling Reporters To Think High Unemployment Is Great and Getting Your Guy Re-elected
Dances With Weasels
Amid Summers’ Blight Team
Allen and the Money Factory
Kite Running
The Zero Percent Solution
The Joy of Looting
I (Ka)Ching
The Origin of the Specious
The Big Geithner
(Lebowski)
To Protect and Serve
The Pillagers of the Earth
Amid Summer’s Night’s Dream
I came, I saw nothing, and I left.
So many great choices
Apocalypse Later
Rascals Clique & Mau-Mauing the Tax Payer
Washington on $25 Billion A day
“WHITE BANKS ON DOPE”
Geithner’s Gate
Wild Black Swans
Guess How Much I Screwed You
The (S)hite Report
‘The dukes of moral hazard’ and ‘it takes a pillage’ gave me a good laugh – thanks!
Repurposed titles that would work:
“Disgrace”
“To Have and Have Not”
“The Good Soldier”
Gone with the Unwind
I Know What You Did Last Recession
Prolegomena to Any Future Money Physics
Love in the Time of 0% Interest Rates
Harold and Kumar Make Monetary Policy
View to a Shill
I’ll Do Anything for Quantitative Easing (But I Won’t Do That)
Things To Do in DC When You’re in Debt
When Timmy Met Bennie
Less Than Zero (IRP)
Honey I Debased the Currency
The Chinese Connection
This Time Is (no) Different
I Robosign
- The Surprisingly Bearable Lightness of Banking
- Notes from the Overlord
- A Good Banker is Hard to Find
Excerpt: “Bernanke was the only one that ever raised the Fed’s balance sheet… and he shouldn’t have done it. He thrown everything off balance. If he can do what he says he can do, then it’s nothing for you to do but throw away everything and follow him, and if he can’t, then it’s nothing for you to do but enjoy the few minutes you got left the best way you can — by shorting some mortgage-backed securities or foreclosing somebody’s house or doing some other meanness to him. No pleasure but meanness.”
- Cry, the Beloved Countrywide
- A Brief History of Crime
- A Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man
- O Financial Product Pioneers!
Apes of Graft
“The Rats of New York!”
PS — lots of great suggestions above, especially the most recent, Apes of Graft!
Have a good weekend.
There is some really solid work here. I don’t hope to compete:
Chicanery Row
The Grapes of Math
Rabbit Rob
God’s Little AIG
“Forrest Geithner”
He seemed to be present at every major inflection point of the creation and cover-up of the financial crisis.
The subtitle will be “Or How My Experience with TurboTax Enabled Me To Address Financial Crises”
Gone with the Unwind
“On the Origin of Feces.”
These are hilarious. My suggestion:
The Big, The Bad, The Ugly
Wall Street’s Bitch: My Life as a Private Servant
“Zen and the Art of Market Maintenance”
or
“A Fool and His Money”
For kids: “Diary of a Wimpy FED” or the tongue-twisting “Green Span and HAMP”: ‘…I do not like Green Span and HAMP. I do not like them, Uncle Sam…”
I have 2
Making the World Safe for Wall Street or
Waht’s Good for Wall Street is Good for the USA,
The Pig Picture
Picking Winners and Losers, It’s Not Just for the Fed Anymore
Portrait of the Artist as the Banks’ Man
To Whom the Bailout Rolls (ask not to whom the bailout rolls. no, seriously, don’t ask.)
Dream of the Red Ledger
The Last Nine Days of the SIGTARP (Can’t Come Quickly Enough)
Inside Information for Only the Privileged
Limited Edition Only of Course!
My life selling rope (a Karl Marx short story)
The Peter Principle and Me
Can this be a series of books? There are fifty suggestions here that had me laughing out loud.
Go On, Take the Money and Run. [my personal fave]
Out Of Your Pocket And Into Mine: Wealth Transfer for Finance Ministers in the 21st Century.
Find It, Fake It, Fob It Off, Fabulate: The Four F Principle for Gaming a De-regulatory Environment Like An I Did.
Many very witty proposals in comments already . . . .
I, Judas. [my new personal fave]
No, Don’t Thank Me, I Got Paid To Do This. [read properly, perfectly accurate]
Dr. Strangegeld, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bonds.
I can’t wait for the Bernanke sequels.
I can’t imagine the number of board appointments and consulting agreements that will come from this. Paulson has been kind of quiet – sort of like Bush
Bernanke does Dallas (Fed that is)
Bens POV (from the Helicopter)
The Fellowship of the Street
One Hundred Years of Servitude
Lord of the Size
Fuck You – Money!
I cannot resist tossing in a couple….amazingly enough…not many changes needed.
“Gangs of New York”
“Get Smart er”
“Fistful of Dollar$”
Way too funny….one more comes to mind…
“The Man who Fell to Mirth”
And finally….with apologies to Henry Fonda…
“Yours, Mine and Ours”